


Five Things Greg House Might Have Done With His Hooker

by marginaliana



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-16
Updated: 2006-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-04 16:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/pseuds/marginaliana





	Five Things Greg House Might Have Done With His Hooker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [violet_quill](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=violet_quill).



1.  
The girl shrugged her shoulders acceptingly; House had the feeling she'd heard weirder requests.

"Just make sure she's there, because I still get paid by the hour even if I'm sitting around and waiting."

"Don't worry, she'll be there. She couldn't resist a chance to peek under my towel."

Twenty minutes later and Cameron was exiting the hospital men's locker room with a shriek. The hooker followed afterward, waving a pair of worn boxers, a yoyo, and a can of cold whipped cream.  
"I thought you said you were a doctor!" she hollered. Hidden behind a potted plant, House snickered.

 

2.  
He'd loved Stacy, but sex with the hooker was better. Stacy had always been too damn nice in bed, for all that she was satisfyingly bitchy outside of it. He'd put up with it until they'd had sex with his bum leg, and she couldn't seem to forget it was there. It was like a wall between them. The hooker, though she could obviously see the issue, took him at his word when he snarled that it didn't matter, and refused to be offended by his surliness.

He smiled for the first time in ages and gave her the handcuffs.

 

3.  
House sighed as his pager buzzed for the tenth time. He threw it under the couch. Twenty minutes later Cuddy came bursting through the door angrily.

"You are the most irresponsible man I have ever—" she cut off in shock at seeing the young woman on her hands and knees. House smirked.

"Wilson said you'd left to go home with a hooker," she said weakly. The girl got an enraged look on her face and Cuddy backed away.

"As you can see, that isn't the case," House supplied, lips twitching with delight. "We were just organizing my CD collection."

 

4.  
At first he'd laughed.

"Your friend said you needed a distraction."

When it turned out she meant it, he was upset, offended – secretly hurt. Wilson wanted him to change? To mellow?

"It's no big deal – everyone needs a little attention sometimes. It just means he cares about you." She reached for his belt.

He stepped back with wide eyes. This was what friends did for you? Got you a pushy hooker?

"Ah, well. He said you wouldn't go for it."

At that, House relaxed. _I see,_ he thought. _A challenge._ He stepped forward and slid a hand into her hair.

 

5.  
"So you want to swirl your tongue like this..." she demonstrated. "Most guys like that. Then try to alternate licking and sucking at different angles - that way you can draw it out longer. Longer is always better."

House gave her his patented dubious eyebrow lift, but reached for the banana.

"Good, good. Excellent. Now while you're working, you may want to slide your fingers-" she gestured and House's mouth went suddenly dry. He choked on the banana.

_Get a hooker,_ he thought derisively as he recovered, coughing. _Well, I did. Good advice, that._

Wilson wouldn't know what hit him.


End file.
